The Drive Home - Friday Edition

I commute from Clearfield UT to Salt Lake City UT on a daily basis. Generally speaking it is about 30 minutes one-way, but with the construction going on in the I15 corridor through Davis County, it gets pretty ugly.

They are working on a new route through the county from the US 89 and I15 interchange in Farmington and IMHO it cannot be finished soon enough! It looks to be quite scenic, only allow 55 MPH max, and no big trucks. It is only 2 lanes each way but there are times I could kill for 2 extra lanes on the afternoon commute.

I would not mind one bit if the ones to go were some of those idiots driving SUVs, running at full speed right up behind people, cutting folks off to force their way into other lanes who have no clue what that extra little stalk on the left of the steering wheel is, all while talking away on the cell phone glued to their ears - in other words, 80% of Utah drivers.

More... I have driven all over the western U.S. We have lived in Portland OR, San Bernadino CA, Reno NV and visited nearly every major city that lies between them all. I have also driven around such cities as Atlanta GA, Melbourne FL, Seattle WA, Detroit MI, Twin Cities MN, Cincinnati OH and others.

I can say that, again IMHO, Utah has the WORST drivers I have ever encountered. I have never seen such a bunch of street hogs and inconsiderate jerks all in one place before. I am honestly surprised there are not horrendous accidents all over every day I drive home. I think we have just been lucky so far.

I get the biggest kick out of those people who think weaving in and out of traffic, causing all kinds of problems for other drivers, will really get you there faster.

A few weeks ago I left work a little early and had a relatively easy commute. Passing through North Salt Lake, approaching Bountiful, a small red sports-car-wannabe came up on my butt so fast I thought it was a flying suppository. As I braced for impact, he flew by me in the next lane, sraping some dirt off my back fender, causing me to nearly soil myself. I mumbled something about what a jerk he was, but I know he did hear me because his cell phone had become part of his head.

In about 1/4 mile, we encountered some heavier traffic. I could see the Jerk up ahead, about 4 or 5 cars, forcing his way into spaces not big enough for motorcycles. It seemed like every chance he had, every opening he found, he felt the need to change lanes. And it is a good thing he was not signaling, someone may have discovered his dastardly plan and attempted to thwart it!

I lost sight of him when he drove UNDER a semi (well it looked that way to me) and disappeared.

Another 3 or 4 miles go by. We are passing through Centerville. Guess who shows up...now in my REAR VIEW MIRROR. Yes, indeed, it was the Jerk. He again tried to give me a little red sports-car-wannabe enima, then swerved at the last second and slammed on his breaks hard enough that I heard them cry. I thought he would nail that guy for sure, but somehow he didn't. Next opening, he shot through again. Again, I lost sight.

I am approaching my exit in Clearfield. All this time, I have had cruise control on at 64 or 54 in construction. I purchased a Toyota Prius last year, and I am determined to save money on gas (so yes, I am that slow gray car you are swearing at as your roar past in your SUV talking on your cell phone, and I am also that slow gray car that just drives past you as you pour your life savings into the beast...heh heh)

I am sitting at the light, waiting to turn left, and guess who shows up, 2 cars behind me. You know who...SANTA CLAUS...alright that is not true. It was the Jerk (I guess Santa may be a jerk too, but that is another post). After all that weaving and dodging and proctology near-misses, and attempting to kill everyone in his path, I beat him to the exit in my little slow gray Prius.

Funny what kind of things can make your day. That sure made mine.