Other things to think about...a positive note and the start of my cancer story (so Cancer Part 1, I guess)

I was just thinking about things that are happening to us right now, and it got me reminiscing, which made me think of something I have not posted about yet: 2008 is the 10 year mark for my cancer diagnosis. 10 years is quite the milestone for cancer survivors. The 5-year mark is kind of the pinnacle of cancer survival, since at that point it basically means you have the same chance of a cancer recurrence as anyone else has of developing cancer. So 10 years is special as it means I have doubled that time. Not bad considering my doctor initially gave me less than a 15% chance of beating it to begin with.

10 years. Wow.

In October 1998 we received the news that I had osteosarcoma (bone cancer).

I had been having pain in my upper back, neck, and down my left arm for some time in late 1997 and early 1998, but I was nearing the end of my college coursework and was too caught up in graduating to get it checked out. I finally, just before graduation, went to my boss at work since I thought it might be work-related having been in production for several years. They sent me to a therapist who recommended and electromyogram. Here is the key point of this test:

The skin over the areas to be tested is cleaned with a special soap. A needle electrode that is attached by wires to a recording machine is inserted into a specific muscle.

So the point is they stick a needle into a muscle to find a nerve and then shock it so they can see on a machine hooked up to your hand if the nerve is blocked or not. Got that? Needle in muscle to shock the be-jeebers out of a nerve, ON PURPOSE!

Can you say "ouch"?

Actually it was more like "HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL STOP STICKING THAT PIN IN MY ARM YOU SADISTIC..." well you get the idea. =)

The doctor stuck that thing in my hand and arm about every 6 inches (back of my hand, just past my wrist, middle of forearm, at the elbow - that was fun, shocking the crap out of my funny-bone, hah hah hah, see me laughing - etc.). Then I find out the test told them nothing. Greeeaaat!

That prompted an MRI. They were pretty concerned so I actually got my MRI on July 4th if you can imagine that. That was also, incidentally, the day of my last paid haircut. I have not been to a barber of any kind since then.

I went in that afternoon for my MRI. They gave me a Valium to help me relax and then they strapped me into the MRI table. [note: the Valium basically did nothing...I would come to find after 8 years of various kinds of treatments and surgeries, and probably thousands of percocet, lortab, codeine, etc. that I have a VERY high tolerance for narcotics of all kinds.]

I had a cage bolted over my head holding my head in place and pressing on my chest so I would not move at all during the test. That ended up being a bad thing, since it only exacerbated the feeling of being trapped while I was, well, trapped in the machine. In the middle of the MRI they stopped. They told me they had to have someone come look at the images and that they needed to take another image. All this time I am in this tube that could barely hold me and my gut. I started begging them to let me out, but they said they did not want to mess up the orientation. It was a bad experience at the time and made it so I can now only do an MRI if sedated.

Anyway, I found out what made them do that. They wanted to be absolutely certain of what they had to report, to make sure they were really seeing what they thought they were. Unfortunately, it was exactly what they thought it was.

When they finally unstrapped me, they had me wait around to talk to my doctor. I kind of guessed at that point that it was not going to be to invite me over for punch and cookies. On the phone the neurologist who ordered the test told me they found a mass in my upper back and neck (technically the brachial plexus area). It was about the size of a large orange or my fist and was nestled under my shoulder-blade, up against the top of my rib cage and under my colar bone. Later we would find out it encroached on the spine as well. The sharp shooting pains I had been experiencing in my left arm and neck were a result of the tumor pressing on and pinching my ulnar nerve against my colar bone - in essence I had the feeling of having smacked my funny bone good and hard all the time.

My doctor actually did say "tumor" at the end of our discussion. "Mass" sounded better.

I then called Glynna and my mom and dad and told them they had found a tumor. I was sick and numb all at the same time. But I had no idea what was to come, and maybe that was a good thing.

I will say I have had more enjoyable Independence Days.