Jose and the Golden Pin of Eternal Glory

One day when Jose was playing X-box he heard a noise coming from his closet. When he opened the door a magic chinchilla said, “Jose, you are the chosen one.”

Then Jose said, “What the freaking heck are you doing in my closet?!” Then the magic chinchilla told him all about how the evil penguin, Gladys, stole the Golden Pin of Eternal Glory from the museum of random valuable things, and how he kidnapped the presidents pet snail, speedy. The magic chinchilla also told Jose that he could fly while holding a bagel, freeze anything with his mind except for newspaper, eat anything no matter what it was, and talk to pencils. Then the magic chinchilla burst into flames and was gone forever.

Jose spent the next few weeks mastering his abilities. When he was sure he had them all down he filled a backpack with 3 packs of bagels, food, water, and a picture of the chinchilla that gave him his destiny. He flew into the air and when he was over the great country Arkansas he dropped the bagel and fell about 27 feet onto a cow. The cow turned out to be the one who was supposed to show him the way. When the cow got him safely to the Kinko’s factory the cow burst into flames and was gone forever.

When Jose got inside he saw a suspicious group of penguins standing in the corner watching him carefully. Then one of them pulled out an M16 and tried to shoot him. He just barely escaped into the basement and locked the door when they busted down the door and ran in. As they came into the room Jose stepped on a trapdoor that led to the super cat’s hideout. Jose had heard about the super cat, but he thought he was only a story. The super cat said to Jose, “You are Jose and I am super cat, I made a teleporter that will take you strait to Gladys’ top secret headquarters in Wal-Mart.” Just as super cat pushed the teleport button he burst into flames and was gone forever.

When Jose got to Wal-Mart he went up to an employee and asked him where the evil penguin was. The man said, “Oh he’s on isle 7, but don’t touch his hair.” Jose said thank you and went immediately to isle 7.

When he got there, Gladys said, “How did you find out where my top secret headquarters were?!” Just as Jose was about to freeze the evil penguin he realized that Gladys had on a body suit made of newspaper. There was nothing Jose could do. Then the penguin ran away.

While Jose was searching for Gladys he ran into a pencil, he asked the pencil, “Have you seen this penguin?” While holding up a picture of a penguin with long shaggy hair.
The pencil simply replied, “I don’t have any eyes stupid.” Then out of the corner of his eye Jose saw the penguin run into the girls bathroom. Jose cornered Gladys in the bathroom and noticed that he had the Golden Pin of Eternal Glory and the president’s pet snail in a cage. All of a sudden the evil penguin had a seizure and the newspaper fell off. Jose grabbed the Golden Pin of Eternal Glory, Speedy, and flew out the window.

Jose returned the Golden Pin of Eternal Glory to the museum of random valuable things, returned Speedy to the president, won the Congressional Medal of Honor, and returned home still not knowing why there was a chinchilla in his closet.